rosa

I had a wonderful day today.  I had been having some family problems with health issue that is the reason I have been out so long, but today I was so happy that I decided to get off my ass and go out with kids.

We played in an inflateable pool.  I got in with my son.  It was fun. 

In the afternoon after 7pm we played mud.  Yes mud.  I have a patch in the backyard where grass does not grow, and we can make mud.  My son was thrilled.  We got wet all over again. 

It was fun we laughed and believe you me I sweated.  The temperatures here are in the 100 all day. 

I hope you all had a wonderfun day.

Take care

Rosa

IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE LOGGED IN.  I AM IN REAL NEED  OF HELP.  I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.  I HAVE BEEN FEELING SO LOW  NOWADAYS THAT ALL I HAVE BEEN DOING IS SLEEPING ALL DAY.

rn

I AM GOING TO A PSYCHRIATRIST BUT ALL HE DOES IS JUST PERSCRIBE PILLS AND DOESN’T EVEN LET ME TELL HIM HOW I FEEL.  DOESN’T EVEN LET ME EVEN LET ME TELL HIM HOW I AM DOING. 

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I KNOW I AM IN A BAD PLACE AND I NEED HELP BUT I SERIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. 

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I DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO GET UP IN THE MORNING OR MOVE AROUND.  I GET UP BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE MY KIDS TO SCHOOLS BUT I COME

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HOME AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO TO BED. I DON’T DO IT BECAUSE I HAVE TO PICK UP MY SON IN 3 HRS BUT AS SOON AS HE IS HOME WE TAKE A NAP OF 3HRS AND I JUST WANT TO STAY IN BED.

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I KNOW IT IS NOT GOOD. BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.  

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I AM ON MEDS BUT I DON’T THINK THEY ARE WORKING AND WHEN I TRY TO TELL THE DR HE JUST SAYS LETS TRY IT FOR ONE MORE WEEK.  I THINK I AM GOING TO NEED TO MOVE ON AND LOOK FOR ANOTHER DR. SOME ONE WHO WILL ACTUALLY TAKE THE TIME TO TALK TO ME OR TO LISTEN TO ME.  HE WANTS TO SEE ME EVERY MONTH AND NOW HE WANTS ME TO GO TO THERAPY SOMEWHERE ELSE. 

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I NEED HELP.  ANY ADVICE YOU GUYS CAN GIVE WOULD BE GOOD. 

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I KNOW I HAVE NOT BEEN HERE FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND IT IS NOT FAIR TO COME BACK AND JUST START ASKING FOR HELP BUT I REALLY NEED YOU GUYS. 

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THE DOCTOR THAT I SEE TOLD ME I WAS BIPOLAR.  SO I AM TAKING MEDS FOR THAT

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THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO READS MY BLOGG.

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TAKE CARE/

rn

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ROSA

As some of you know I go to a PSHY once a month well I had an appointment. 

rn

I think that the worse part of the appointment is the weighting.  I have to get weigh in this big scale.  I really don’t like getting weight in.  Anyways that is not the point.  I did not gain or loose according to that scale and since I have to go once a month I will change my ticker to that weight and I will base it my weigh  on them.

rn

I had a change in meds. He told me to start drinking my meds at night also.  He gave me some mood enhancers meds.  That are suppose to make me have more energy and make me get off my ass.  I will start taking them until monday due to I will have money until then.

rn

We had not had practice since last we.  Everything was okay I mean I was not  totalling under control but I was sane.  We had practice yesterday and God only knows how vicious teenage girls can be. 

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I had to ban a girl from my house.  I told my daughter that she is not welcome here.  That from now on I only want the kids that are involve in the party here.  I don’t like kids making fun of the kids that are trying to do something.

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I am telling yoy guys I will be happy once we are  done with this.  The drama with the kids, is driving me up the wall. 

rn

I am happy that we are doing this.  I mean I see my daughter and she is happy to see all her friends and to see all the things we are buying.  She keeps telling me that she wants to be the center of attention.  Just her and nobody else.  She cracks me up.

rn

I guess that is what makes it all worth it. Well buddies thank you for letting me vent a while. 

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before I forget my weigh is 197 lbs.

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Take care all

rn

Rosa

House work it seems to never end.  Today I secided I was getting off my ass for the day.  I started doing some laundry before I knew I was half done.  Then I decided to clean behind the fridge.  Bad idea, I found a lot of things I thought I had lost.  I have this tick to just put everything on top of the fridge.  I have bills, paid and unpaid.  I have scissors and pens and pencils. 

rn

I think since I have not done much in the last weeks I over did it, but things had to be done.  I also moved the couches to take everything out.  Mainly trash.  I dust the the dvd and stereo and entertainment center.  Don’t ask me why I did it.  I am still asking myself the same question. 

rn

I was kind of surprise to see all the energy I had.  I have not done my laundry in one day since I really don’t remember when.  I had not dusted in a longer time.  I actually mopped my kitchen floor.  It had been a long time since it was cleaned.

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 I was thinking the other day, when I let go of myself I let go of everything.  I tend to stop cleaning and doing the things I am suppose to do.  I don’t know if I am making sence, but to me it does. 

rn

I hope everyone had a wonderful day.  I am really feeling much better today.  I don’t know what happen to make me see things different but hey I will blame it on the weather.

rn

Take care all

rn

Rosa

Hello to all my buddies. It has been a while since my last blog.  I am doing okay,  eating everything and anything I can find.  I am an emotional eater, and believe me right now I am on a roller coster.

rn

I have not been doing anything at all.  I have not done any type of practice with the kids.  I have not done any of the things that need to be done.  I have just been sleeping a lot and eating anything I can get to.

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I was thinking on coming here today and tell you all that I was quitting.  Yes quitting.  I have not blogged in a while and I am so out of it, that it is not even funny. 

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Once upon a time this web site use to be my happy place,  if I was feeling low I would just log in and read some blogs and that would make me feel better.  The other day I was really low on my moral. I thought I would log in and see what my buddies where up to.  Well I could not find out, you guys now have teams and challenges and stuff I have no idea about. 

rn

Today as I logged in I checked some of my old buddies first like Mary.  I wanted to see what she was up to see if her blogs would share some light into what was going on.  To my surprise Mary’s blogs where Mary’s blog.  She was so like Mary.  Nothing had changed there. 

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Then I went to Erika’s blog.  I got the same surprise Erika has not changed.  She is still taking care of kids and healing her kids back to normal.  I love this woman.

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Then of course I could not just go and blog without going into Jo’s week.  My dear buddy Jo.  I love your honesty.  I just love your blogs I see the struggles you go through in me.  The only things you always find the good side of things and don’t let anything get you down for lond.

rn

Then there is Kari.  This woman has all the energy any one would want to have.  I love to see how you push yourself to get what you want out of you. 

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One more blog I read was Alana.  I loved that blogged it made me see that I am afraid of change, there are so many new buddies in this site.

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 Some of you do not change MARY, ERIKA, JO, KARI.  Thank you all for staying the same. I love you ladies.

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With that said I have decided to stay.  I will try to come more often and blog and read some of your inspiring blogs.  

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I want to say I do appreciate all my buddies, you all mean so much to me. 

rn

Take care

rn

Rosa

I want to start by saying that I am sorry that I have not been here lately..? I am also sorry that I have not read your blogs. It is just things are getting worse by the day.

rn

Today was more stressfull then yesterday.? I was about to call the whole thing off.?

rn

I took the girls dress shopping.? They were told to take 10-20 dlls to layaway the dresses.? Well nobody took money.? We put the dresses in layaway and guess who had to pay.? OF COURSE ME.?? I wanted to slap all those girls.? I told them TAKE MONEY.? I told them they had to pay for their own dress.? When we got on the car they asked what were they suppose to do with the ticket I gave them( the layaway ticket).???? I mean what is so hard to understand that you have to PAY FOR YOUR DRESS.? I told them to pay for the dress and take it out of layaway.

rn

On the way home they all wanted to go eat.? Well I made it very clear I did not have money, I had just paid 50dlls for the layaway of the dresses.? They told me don’t worry we have money enough for everyone.? Well we get to Carls’s Jr.? and the ones that had money bought food for themselves and the ones that did not have money did not eat.? I had to pay for my daughter and a friend and me..? Not bad with less than 20 dlls.? What really pissed me off was they where suppose to buy for the ones that did not have money and at the last minute did not.

rn

At the home front, I was talking for Hubby today letting him know that the kids were getting bored with the routine.? They have 3 wks practicing and have not learned anything but to turn that they wanted to move one.? Well that was for debate he started telling me that the kids were all spoiled brats that did not want to do what they where told and that all they wanted to do was talk and play.? I was not through making my point when he started talking and I told him to please listen to me and let me finish.? Well he got all mad at me and told me he did not know what I want to hear.

rn

Help I think I am going crazy.? I never thought that having a party like this would be so stressfull,? I am seriously considering of just telling the girls that I won’t be needing them anymore and let my DD just dance with father and god-father and that is it.,? I seriously am going crazy help,? I am so glad I have you guys to vent to.?

rn

Thank you all for being here for me.? I really appreciate all of you.? I will soon start reading your blogs again and commenting on them.? Right now believe I have no concentration to do it..? Thank you all.?

rn

Take care

rn

Rosa

I am sorry to have been gone for so long. I am just under so much stress right now that my whole body is full of knots. 

rn

I wish Hubby would help0 but he just gives orders and get results like yeaterday.  He stresses me more.

rn

I am having dance practice everyday at my house.  The kids practice for about 3 hours but don’t leave until about 6 hrs.  That is killing me.  I have to feed them and then clean after them.  Don’t get me wrong they don’t make a big mess but still I have to pick-up plates and cups from everywhere. 

rn

I went looking for invition I can what my daughter wants 100 invitation at 300dlls.  I thought it was a little too much since we know most people throw the invitation away.  So my neice said she could make them for less than a 100 dlls.  Well I first need to pass it through the man of the house to see if he approves.  Waiting for the answer.

rn

Then on Tuesday I need to take the girls to find a dress. Of cf course my daughter is inviting anyone that wants to go and of course I have to buy food for everybody.  That is really stressful. 

rn

I wish I could just say a magic word and get this over or get the man of house to stop tring to make all the decissions. 

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I don’t think there is another man on earth that is so involve like this one is.  He wants picture of the girls dresses to see if he likes them or see if he can choose from.  he actually chose my daughter’s dress, my dress and the tuxes.  I think I should just let him do everything.

rn

Thanks everyone for letting me vent.  I think I need to come on and let it all out. 

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Take care all.

rn

Rosa

No teenagers today,  Yeah!  apperantly my sister in law was sick today and she could not come.

rn

My daughter was dissappointed she wanted to have her friends  over but since they where not going to practice I said not.

rn

I did my 4 miles today.  I never thought it was going to be hard to start again.  On Sunday it was okay I walked and did not feel like getting off.  Today was different I wanted to get off in the middle.  I thought I am just getting off.  I thought I hit the stop button but I did not. so i went on to the 4 mile mark.

rn

I don’t know why it was so hard today.  I guess I was looking forward to just spending another day off the threadmill.  

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I had a yogurt with granola, and 4 cups of water so far.  It is still early here.  

rn

I have a question I am really stress out and I am breaking out.  Does any one know what I can do.  

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I also forgot to tell you guys I bought small dumbbells I used them today.  It does make it better for me to jog with them. 

rn

Okay buddies time to go see what I am suppose to be doing.  Take care all/

rn

Rosa 

Today was a scary day.  I had way too many teenagers in my house. 

rn

I did not do my exercise today, I thought I would have time once the kids left but by that time it was late. 

rn

I had 10 teenagers in my house.  5 boys and 5 girls.  I son was so happy running around with them.  Today was the first serious day of practice.  My sister in law taught them how to waltz and turn.  Now tomorrow we have another practice with only 6 kids I think.  They will be taught how to waltz and glide.  Wish us luck.  They are good kids, fast learners. 

rn

We did not have to yell at them so they can pay attention.  One thing I did notice their attention span only last about 1 hour to 1 and a hal,  so practice will not last longer than two hours.

rn

My eating today was horrible we had nachos as a snack for the kids.  Basicly that is  all I had for breakfast-lunch.  For dinner I had a spicy chicken sandwich with some mozzarella stick.  Oh yeah and a soda. 

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It was kind of hectic.  I thoutht I could do this and up to now it is okay.  I am planning on taking the girls to pick their dresses, but that won’t be until Feb.  so i still have time to deal with them

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I hope you all had a wonderful day.  Tomorrow will be another day.  I hope to have a better one.

rn

Take care all

rn

Rosa

I did it I got on the threadmill.  I walked my 4 miles.  It was great very energizing.  I thought I would get off before i even started but I guess I really did miss the threadmill.

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I just thought i let you guys know that I did get on the threadmill today

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Take care all

rn

Rosa